I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
