I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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