my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Randomize
