SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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