I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
