oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm sobbing to NWA
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
