I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize