I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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