The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
