so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize