Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
