brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
