Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
