Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
