I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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