she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
