are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
