would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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