so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
