I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize