and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No subtext here. People are naked.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
