sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
