remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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