I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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