Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
