I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
