I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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