David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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