i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize