thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
