belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
