Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
