Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
