In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
