Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
