I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
