I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
