she was so not down for the gang bang
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize