And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
