That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
