I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
