That's intense
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
