That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
