yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I will be naked everywhere
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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