I think I am morally bankrupt
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
