Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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