would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
