I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
