My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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