I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
