I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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