Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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