If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize