hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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