ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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