Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
