I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So squirting runs in the family.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
