hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
