Will you blow on my dice?
Porn is love you can see.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
