It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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