Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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