I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
