I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Randomize