you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
