Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
bring money and cleavage
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
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