if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize