he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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