my vag is so smooth its legendary
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize