It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
