Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
