Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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