So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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