Can i not drive my cunt home
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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