That's when you crack a 10am beer
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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