I love black thongs
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
