i'm signing you up for texting rehab
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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