This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
