you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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