Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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